


And I know that you're scared because hearts get broken

by sleepysweaters



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: Christmas Time, College, F/F, Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, Holiday Fic Exchange, Jealousy, M/M, computer programmer benny, i suck at tagging things, nurse ethan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 16:27:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21941215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepysweaters/pseuds/sleepysweaters
Summary: Ethan thought coming out to his family meant they’d stop asking him if he was dating someone.  He wanted a normal conversation with them, which meant no mention of if he was dating.  The only problem was he never got that.  Instead now he has to find a boyfriend before Christmas Eve, and Benny suggests that maybe they could pretend together.or, the one where Benny and Ethan fake date in attempt to convince people Ethan has a boyfriend.
Relationships: Ethan Morgan/Benny Weir, Sarah Fox/Erica Jones
Comments: 2
Kudos: 152





	And I know that you're scared because hearts get broken

**Author's Note:**

> Since this is a holiday exchange present, I went with the adult Bethan being gay. They're about 25/26, which is adult according to me. I really hope you enjoy! :)

Ethan thought coming out to his family meant they’d stop asking him if he was dating someone. He wanted a normal conversation with them, which meant no mention of if he was dating. When he had came out, Jane asked if this meant he had a boyfriend and she then looked disappointed when he said no.

Ethan decided to go visit his mother one day when he wasn’t working at the Starbucks near his university and it was Christmas Break, so he didn’t have any classes that day either. He had called her to see if she had work and she said no, so he drove the 45 minutes to see her.

“So, Ethan, how has school been?” His mother asked as she brought him some water and herself some tea.

They were rarely able to catch up. The last time they had was two months ago, which was when he had come out as gay. No one was phased, it wasn’t expected but it wasn’t surprising. Ethan had secretly wanted for them all to be surprised and speechless, but he knew what happened was what Sarah had told him would happen.

“It’s going good,” he started before taking a drink of water. His eyes flickered to the family photos above the fireplace. “It’s getting harder, but I know I can do it. I do have your determination, don’t I?”

“Of course, you do.” His mother smiled and chuckled at him.

“They want me to start figuring out what specific field to go into. I’m thinking about specializing in cardiology when I become a Nurse Practitioner. What do you think?” He asked as he looked over to his mother who was drinking tea from her cup.

Ethan could tell she didn’t hear him and was zoned out thinking. He would be lying if he said it didn’t scare him. Silence fell between them as he stared at her and she stared into the fireplace.

“Found any boys?” She asked as she looked over at him and held himself back from groaning. He threw his head back though and looked up at the ceiling in annoyance.

“What’s with you and wanting me to be with someone? Am I not allowed to be single?” He asked before he looked back over at her.

“It’d be good for you to find someone. Jane has a boyfriend and she’s happy. I just want you happy,” she said, and Ethan felt bad for getting irritated with her.

He wanted to make her happy, but he didn’t know how.

She had been so excited to go to university and meet new people. Ethan had tried to do that his first year, but now in his seventh year of university and he still only had Benny, Sarah, Rory, and, sometimes, Erica. There had been times where he had met other people, but either Benny didn’t like them, or they just ghosted him. He couldn’t just tell her he was still a loser, even in university.

“Yeah, I found someone,” he said, not thinking.

“Oh really!” She exclaimed, and her eyes went bright and filled with excitement. “Tell me about him.”

Shit.

“W-well we’re not official or anything. I’m not really supposed to say anything,” Ethan stumbled out and she gave him an understanding look. Maybe she knew he was lying.  
“It’s hard in the beginning, so I couldn’t even picture how hard it is for you, honey.”

So, she couldn’t tell he was lying, and he had no idea what to say. The only time he had had a boyfriend was his second year of university, before he had picked his major, and that was a disaster.

Ethan didn’t know anything, but he wasn’t going to ever date a business major again and he would listen when Benny had a problem with a guy. The only good thing was he learned how to kiss, but even that wasn’t great.

“Yeah, I just don’t want to push the boundaries. I may think it’s more than it actually is,” he lied, and he felt sweaty. He hated lying, had never been good at it. It was even worse to be lying to his mother.  
“How about you invite him to Christmas Eve?”

Ethan’s eyes widen and he started to shake his head violently. He didn’t know if he could breathe because he was malfunctioning. How was he supposed to say no to the suggestion?  
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want to– “

“Don’t be ridiculous, just invite him. It seems you don’t know where you two stand currently because you’re too scared to ask questions,” she said before taking a sip from her tea once again.

Ethan bit at his lip and nodded. Even if he didn’t have anyone this time, she was right about him being too scared. Relationships had always scared him because he didn’t know how to figure out boundaries or how to figure out people.

“O-okay.”

His phone vibrated and he quickly went to look at it. Benny had been calling him repeatedly and texting him profusely. For some reason, this was the first time he had been able to hear it go off.

“Mom, can we catch up more later? Benny needs me,” Ethan said as he looked over to her. She had a knowing smile on her face and nodded.

“Go check on him. If something really bad happened, then tell me and I’ll come as soon as I can,” she said, and he got up quickly.

They exchanged goodbyes and he called Benny to find out he had been locked out of their apartment. Benny had gone to work again and forgotten the key, which was fairly typical. The only times he never forgot his key is when he had class, because he believed naps in between classes was essential. Ethan told him to stop being ridiculous because Benny was computer programming major.

“I wish you were a warlock too so you could just be here with a snap of your fingers,” Benny said through the speakers of Ethan’s car.

“You can’t even do that. We wouldn’t be in this mess if you could,” Ethan said as he drove and there was a huff on the line.

“Yeah, but you’d probably be better at it than I am.”

The compliment made Ethan blush, and he wasn’t sure why. It hadn’t been anything special, but he had recently been struggling with old feelings he used to have for the other boy back in high school. He blamed it being close to the holidays and feeling like he didn’t have anyone special to be there. There was nothing more to it than just that.

“At least I’m not one then. You wouldn’t want me to show you up,” Ethan joked, trying to make it seem like he didn’t notice the compliment (if it was that).

There was a laugh on the other side of the line and then Benny went into a ramble of all the final class assignments he had done. Benny knows it’s what Ethan needs right now, even though Ethan didn’t tell him anything of what was discussed with his mother.

When he gets home, Benny is sitting in the hallway in front of their door and smiling really big. Ethan has to try to not let that flare up his old emotions either.

.............................

It’s about a week later when Ethan brings up that he lied to his mother to Benny. It was takeout night, so they both had their containers of Chinese and Benny was getting the couch ready to watch Star Trek.

“Instead of watching TV, I really need to talk to you,” Ethan said, and Benny looked over at him with an expression of concern and fear.

“Are you kicking me out?”

“Why the hell would I kick you out? You pay half the rent,” Ethan started with scrunched eyebrows before he shook his head. “I got myself in a situation and Sarah has been too busy for me to talk it her about it,” Ethan said, only to receive a fake look of hurt from Benny.

“I’m your supposed best friend and I’m not your first pick!” Benny exclaimed dramatically as he clutched his chest and Ethan rolled his eyes.

“You’re the first to hear about it though.”

Benny turned back to normal, even added a cute smile to the mix. “Okay good.”

“So, remember how I came out to my family?”

“Yeah. I’m still proud of you.”

“So, as I was catching up with my mom, she asked me if I was with someone. I told her yes.”

Benny halted his movements and looked over at Ethan with an expression he couldn’t fully read. His green eyes held confusion, but there was something else. Ethan just couldn’t tell what.

“You’re with someone?”

“No!” Ethan exclaimed and Benny’s expression dropped the thing Ethan couldn’t figure out. “I told my mom because I thought she’d stop asking.”

“You know that sounds stupid, right? Even I know that’s not how it works,” Benny said with a snort.

“I panicked, okay?” Ethan started before he took a bite of his chicken. “The main problem is she told me to ask him to come to Christmas Eve.”

“Why is that the main problem? Just say your imaginary boyfriend said no,” Benny said, and Ethan sighed.

“I had thought that would work, but when I told her that he said no; she told me to actually ask and not lie about it,” the brown eyed boy said with annoyance.

Benny started to laugh so hard he had to put his takeout down on the coffee table. Ethan pushed at him slightly, but he also knew it was kind of funny. His mother couldn’t tell he was lying about having a boyfriend but knew he was lying about him saying no.

“It’s not that funny, B!” Ethan exclaimed and Benny calmed down to look at Ethan. There was something in his look that made the brown eyed boy feel fuzzy all over. “I need to find a boyfriend in the next week.”

“Good luck with that. I think all the good ones are taken for the holidays,” Benny said with a snort and Ethan could tell he was trying his hardest to not laugh again.

“Maybe I could call Jacob again? He had been texting me a couple months ago wanting to meet up, but I told him no,” Ethan thought as he dug into his pocket to fetch out his phone.

“Don’t do that to yourself. We both know how creepy he can be, and he’d think you two would be getting married if he met your parents,” Benny said with a scrunched-up face and Ethan had somehow forgotten how much his best friend hated the business major.

“You’re right, but what do I do?”

Benny looked like wanted to say something so badly, but he didn’t. He shrugged before taking another bite of his food and Ethan groaned at his response. He needed help, not shrugs.

“Maybe you should ask someone close to you,” Benny suggested after the silence between them had been filled with the sounds of eating.

“I could ask Rory?” Ethan asked, mainly to himself. “Only problem is that he wouldn’t eat the food my mom made.”

“I could’ve told you Rory was a bad idea before you even mentioned him,” Benny stated before he stopped and just looked at Ethan.

Benny had changed a lot since high school. He didn’t speak until his thoughts were together, which annoyed everyone but Ethan. He brown eyed boy knew it took time for him to say the right thing. Benny looked away with scrunched eyebrows and a scared look in his eye that he was trying to hide from Ethan.

“I have an idea, but you may hate it.”

“It can’t be worse than Jacob or Rory,” Ethan joked only for Benny to bite his lip and dry laugh in response.

“What if I’m your fake boyfriend?”

Ethan felt himself stop breathing. His heart was racing and for some reason he couldn’t help but want it to not be fake. He hated the thought because he wasn’t supposed to think or feel that anymore, because that was his best friend.

“What?”

Benny’s eyes widened and he nearly dropped his food. Ethan hadn’t thought the calm tone in his voice would’ve been possible or even happen.

“It was just a suggestion, no need to take it. I know it’s probably a weird idea because we’re best friends. I’m sorry,” Benny rambled, and Ethan placed a finger against the other’s lips to shut him up.

“Hey, don’t apologize, but you’re Jewish, B,” Ethan said as he took his finger off the other’s lips.

The curly haired brunette let out a sigh of relief and put on his classic smirk. The smirk that always made Ethan feel weak in the knees, even if he didn’t want that.

“I can still celebrate it with you and your family. They’re practically my family already, so it won’t be awkward,” Benny rationalized, and Ethan chuckled.

“You do have a point, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“E, it’s my idea.”

If he was being honest, Ethan knew it would be a good idea. The two have known each other for years, and it would fit the friends-to-lovers trope everyone loved so much. His parents probably wouldn’t be surprised, and Jane definitely wouldn’t be.

“For it to work, we’d have to even tell Sarah, Erica, and Rory we’re dating because I know Sarah and Erica are coming to Christmas Eve,” Ethan said, and he finally placed his food down on the coffee table. “It’ll all turn into a shit show, because who will believe we’ll still live together when we break up? Those three were forced to ban Jacob from their lives, even though he wasn’t really in it to begin with.”

Benny placed a hand on Ethan’s tense shoulder, causing it to relax immediately. Ethan hated this effect he had on him, because it was so obvious, but Benny hadn’t noticed in nearly 10 years. Part of Ethan wanted to tell Benny he loved the idea, adored it because it meant they’d be together like sophomore Ethan would’ve loved.

“That’s fine. We’ll figure it out as it goes. We can always just say that we realized it didn’t work out because we’ve been friends for so long it was weird. It happens all the time with best friends,” Benny said, and Ethan looked unsure, but he nodded anyways.

“So, will we start with telling Sarah, Erica, and Rory when they come over for our holiday party?” Ethan asked and Benny nodded. “We have three days until that, so we better figure out how to seem like a real couple.”

Benny nodded at him slowly before cracking a small smile. He reached out and took Ethan’s hand, intertwining the fingers, and Ethan’s breath hitched. They had held hands before, but it had been in times of danger, and this felt different. He didn’t know how to describe it, but it just felt different.

“We’ll figure it out. Start off slow and work up to what we’ll do next week at the Christmas Eve,” Benny reassured him, and Ethan just nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

This was going to be hard if Benny just holding his hand made him speechless. How was he going to survive?

.............................

“They’re going to expect more than just hand holding, you know?” Benny asked as he referred to their friends that would be coming over in a couple hours. He was right and Ethan knew that, because he had kissed Jacob in front of them multiple times as they were dating.

Benny was more open with affection when he was with someone. It drove Ethan insane when they were younger, because he didn’t want to see Benny holding someone as he whispered soft words to them and kissed them gently. It had been really bad when Benny had his first love, Catherine, because all he did was talk about her. They were together all the time and Benny never listened to Ethan when he said he didn’t trust her.

“What do you say we do?” Ethan asked as he looked over to Benny, who was in the kitchen.

“They’re going to expect us to kiss, at least once,” Benny said, and Ethan was scared to kiss Benny if he was being honest. “Are you comfortable enough to do that?”

No, Ethan wanted to say. No, because then that’ll make this feel real and I can’t handle the future of us ‘breaking up’ if I fall in love again.

“I guess, should we test it out now?” Ethan asked and Benny hummed a yes as he walked over to the boy on the couch.

Benny was so close to him as he sat down, towering over him and the soft smile made Ethan’s heart accelerate. Benny slowly placed a hand on Ethan’s cheek, his thumb softly caressing he skin.  
“Is this okay?” Benny’s voice was low and soft, which made Ethan just nod in fear not being able to speak.

Benny leaned down and Ethan felt his eyes fluttering close and soon their lips were touching. Ethan expected it to be a peck, something simple, but Benny held him closer to him longer than the other thought would happen. Ethan’s hand gripped at Benny’s shirt as he started to move his lips and Benny followed suit.

He was warm all over, fuzzy and light. All he could feel was Benny, which was all that was going through Ethan’s brain as well. Ethan’s hands roamed up to the other’s hair and gripped at the hairs on the nape of the neck.

He needed Benny closer. He wanted them to feel like they had merged and have that connection he always dreamed of them having. Ethan was so in love with Benny and he didn’t want to be, because this would only break his heart in the end.

Ethan pulled away to breathe and Benny smiled at him. Something about the smile was different than his typical smiles, but Ethan didn’t say anything about it. He wanted to surge back up and kiss him again, but Benny dropped the hand cupping Ethan’s face.

Ethan’s hands came down to his sides and he expected this all to feel weird, but it didn’t. They were still Benny and Ethan, even with that near make-out.

“I think we’ve got this, don’t you?” Benny asked, and Ethan’s heart sank.

He had somehow forgotten that this wasn’t real; that they weren’t in love.

Ethan nodded shyly as he mumbled a soft ‘yeah.’ Soon enough Benny was back in the kitchen making food for their friends that would be there in an hour and a half.

He slowly stood up and felt heartbreak drench him. There was no reason to be hurt over this, over something that never actually happened, because Ethan knew they weren’t going to end up together. They weren’t going to fall in love and live happily ever after. He knew this was a bad idea, but he couldn’t say anything to Benny without revealing something on accident.

“Hey,” Ethan said as he turned to look at Benny, who was already staring at him. The attention made his cheeks burn slightly. “Maybe we should try to kiss again, but not as much? We don’t want to make a show for them, seems a bit rude.”

Benny set down whatever he had been holding and started to walk over to him. Ethan was scared at the silent nature of the other, because he would be trying to reassure him. So, the brown eyed boy believed he had crossed a line until he realized he hadn’t.

Benny wrapped an arm around his waist and held him close. Held him like he used to hold Catherine. Ethan could tell that Benny knew he had stopped breathing. It was the way he smirked down at him and Ethan couldn’t function.

“I’ll hold you like this when we pass,” Benny started as he squeezed back slightly. “Then I’ll place my hand on your cheek and lean in after a second.”

He placed a soft kiss on Ethan’s lips. Ethan kissed back slightly, but Benny pulled away after a few seconds. His smirk remained on his face while Ethan was bright red. He could just blame it on not being all that experienced in kissing, which was true, but that wasn’t the truth.

“I’ll kiss you softly and pull away,” Benny said, and the smirk turned into a smile. “No worries, it’ll be a lot faster when it actually happens.”

Ethan nodded, and Benny let go of his waist. He went back to the kitchen as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened, and Ethan was angered by it.

He was angry Benny wasn’t affected by him like he was affected by Benny. 

“He’s not affected, because he’s not in love with you,” Ethan thought bitterly.

Ethan left the room, unable to look at Benny right now without feeling so angry he could explode. He knew he loved Benny, and he hated it. He would always hate this feeling of unrequited love, but he knew it was the constant in their lives.

.............................

Ethan was the one who always opened the door when guests came over. Benny was always doing something he claimed to be more important than answering the door. It was just the one thing he always did, but Benny was next to him and an arm wrapped around his shoulders. It felt unnatural and he wondered if it looked unnatural too. There was no way they looked like a happy couple currently. Then again, it’s hard to look like a couple when you’re not.

“We have to make them believe from the get-go, baby,” Benny said, and Ethan was starting to regret this more and more.

He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to keep this a secret from Sarah.

Benny was the one to open the door, which was probably the first time since they moved into this apartment seven years ago. Sarah and Erica stood there, holding hands, and Sarah was holding most of the presents while Erica held one.

Sarah was smiling until she saw the arm wrapped around Ethan, as well as his expression. He could tell she wanted to say something, but she didn’t know what. So, her smile falter for a second before she fixed it, but this time it looked forced.

“Come on in,” Benny said right when Sarah looked like she was ready to say something.

Ethan was scared to look over at Erica, because if anyone was to figure out it was fake; it would be her. Maybe him being in love with Benny would confuse her, because one of them wouldn’t be acting.

“So,” Sarah drawled out as she and Erica walked into the small apartment. “Anything you two would like to share?”

“Yeah, seems you’re a lot closer than you were last time we saw you,” Erica said, and Ethan looked over at her to see her lower her sunglasses to look him in the eye.

“I’m glad you’ve noticed!” Benny exclaimed with an excited grin, but Ethan could see through him. Benny was scared too that this wasn’t going to work, but he somehow still kept the confidence. “Would you like to tell them, baby?”

Ethan blushed harder than before at the pet name, because this time it was said in front of others.

“B-Benny and I are d-dating,” Ethan stumbles out and he look at his hands to avoid the stares the girls would have.

“Okay, cool,” Sarah said, and he looked up to see her smiling at him. “I’m happy for you two.”

“Same,” Erica chimed as she sat on their couch and Sarah soon joined her.

Ethan went to follow the two, sit in their smaller chairs so they could keep the couch, but Benny pulled Ethan to where he was looking at him. Just like he had said earlier, he kissed him for three seconds before letting him sit down. Benny sat at the chair sitting across from Ethan and gave him a wink.

“So, what made you two realize you liked each other?” Sarah asked, and Ethan knew what to say; he and Benny had gone over it several times.

“It’s one of those things where you always know,” Ethan said with a chuckle. “He was singing as he cooked dinner, and I just finally said something.

“I had known before he said anything,” Benny started with a dreamy sigh. “Every Takeout Tuesday made me fall more and more with his shitty Star Trek commentary.”

Benny stopped, and Ethan stared at him as if to urge him to go on. Benny’s unsure expression made Sarah look between the two confused. Benny opened his mouth before closing them without saying anything.

“Baby, are you okay?” Ethan asked, and the pet name felt foreign on his tongue. Benny’s cheeks turned pink and he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m just a little caught up in how many times I knew.”

What was Benny doing? That wasn’t part of the script. Ethan knew his eyes were wide and confused, but no one commented on it. Benny looked like he was about to cry, but it was obvious no one knew what to do.

“What do you mean?”

Erica looked intrigued between the two of them and Ethan believed she knew they weren’t together. It was such an unlikely thing to happen that it made sense it wasn’t real. Sarah probably only believed it because she wanted Ethan to finally be with the boy he had always loved.

“There’s been many times I knew. So many times, and I’m just now realizing it.”

The other three remained silent, giving Benny all of their attention. He looked nervous, which was unlike him. The green-eyed boy typically looked cocky and sure of himself, but now he looked nervous and scared. He bit at his lip and rubbed his eyes before he spoke again.

“Times from high school when you’d talk about some guy you believed was your soulmate.”

That was you, Ethan thought, you were my soulmate.

“When you dated Jacob, I was so fucking jealous. I wanted to be him and kiss you like that. I wanted to be the one you adored, but you only looked at him.”

“Where is this coming from, Benny?” Ethan asked, and the other looked like he had finally realized what he had been saying. Realized they weren’t alone, because Erica and Sarah were watching him carefully.

“Sorry, I’m going to take a step outside,” Benny quickly said before scrambling to leave the apartment.

“I’m sorry you guys experienced that. It was really personal,” Ethan said, and Erica snorted.

“I’m just glad he’s finally realizing. It’s been painful watching him be confused and jealous for so long,” Erica said, and Ethan looked at her confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“Have you seriously never noticed?” Erica asked and Ethan shook his head. “He’s been trying to get your attention since his breakup with Catherine.”

“No he hasn’t,” he snapped. “He told me he had only realized last month, after I confessed to him how I feel.”

He knew Benny wasn’t in love with him, because he just couldn’t be. Ethan was used to being friends and loving him from a distance. He was used to the unrequited love trope known as his life, but he had repressed those feelings for so long. He had repressed those feelings until he felt sick at night with want. He didn’t want to hear about a different story.

He didn’t want there to be a whole lifetime of where he could’ve been with Benny. If there was, he wouldn’t know what to do.

“Benny started liking you since your sophomore year of high school,” Erica said with a matter of fact tone. “You came to school in an outfit Sarah and Jane had picked out for you, and he wouldn’t stop staring.”

“I probably looked different. I would’ve stared too.”

“Rory once had a crush on you,” Sarah said, and Ethan tilted his head with scrunched eyebrows.

“What? When?”

“It was your junior year, and we were all getting fro-yo while you were studying for the ACT,” Sarah started, and Ethan pouted at hearing he hadn’t been invited to get fro-yo even if it had been years ago. “You had just recently come out to us, and Rory made a comment about asking you out. Benny freaked out by telling Rory to back-off.”

“Why would he tell Rory to back off?”

“At the time, we thought he was just being overprotective, because you had just recently come out. After a couple years though, it wasn’t just because you had recently come out,” Sarah said, and Erica chuckled. He knew she was laughing about the fact Ethan had been so oblivious.

“Then why didn’t he do anything sooner?” He asked, and Erica sighed.

“I remember he was going to, he had a whole plan, but then you brought Jacob home and announced you two were dating,” the blonde said, and Ethan felt so stupid.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, you should go talk to him yourself, dumbass,” Erica said, but there was a soft smile on her face, which meant she didn’t mean it in a fully aggressive way.

He stood up and excused himself, but the girls paid no attention to him as they went into a conversation of their own.

The walk to the elevator felt too long and nerve-wracking for him this time around. Ethan pressed the level 1 option, but it was reluctant. He wasn’t sure what he was going to say once he saw Benny. Would Benny even be down there? Would he have taken a drive?

Benny was sitting in the lobby of their apartment building, staring at his phone. Ethan slowly went over and sat next to him. Benny jumped at him sitting down, and Ethan knew it was because he hadn’t said anything when he did so.

“Hey,” Benny said nervously, and Ethan grabbed the other’s hand tightly.

“Hey,” Ethan responded, but for once he didn’t sound nervous. He had no idea of what was about to happen, but he knew they’d always be Benny and Ethan.

“I’m sorry about what happened up there, I know it wasn’t according to plan,” Benny started. “I guess I haven’t been honest with you or myself in a long time.”

Ethan just continued to smile at him as he turned his body to be facing him more. Benny’s breath hitched so audibly it surprised the brown-eyed boy. He was focused on the green-eyed boy, and he could tell it made Benny even more nervous.

“You know that boy I believed was my soulmate?” Ethan asked, and Benny reluctantly nodded. “He was you. The only way to express my crush to more than just Sarah was to make up a name you’d never expect.”

Benny stared at him, and Ethan could tell he was trying to figure out what to say. Ethan would give him the time he needed like he always did, because Ethan knew he needed it. Benny’s eyes flickered from Ethan’s face to their intertwined fingers and he looked vulnerable.

“Catherine wasn’t my first love,” Benny whispered as if he was scared to talk any louder, and Ethan waited for him to continue. “You were, or I suppose are. I suggested to be your fake boyfriend so I could finally feel what it would be like.”

Ethan’s free hand was placed to Benny’s cheek. His thumb stroked the skin like Benny had done to him and he felt confidence in it. Felt confidence at the way the other started to blush and looked back down at their hands.

“Did you enjoy what it felt like?”

“Yes,” Benny started before taking a deep breath. “But it hurt. It still hurts to know you don’t want me to be with you, even when I’ve begged for this moment for years.”

“How do you know I don’t want to be with you? How are you so sure?” Ethan was leaning closer, but Benny hadn’t caught the hint yet.

“You didn’t seem to like the idea of me being the boyfriend.”

“Because I was scared the feelings I repressed would come back. I scared, because I believed you didn’t want me either.”

“Oh.”

Ethan was so close to Benny, he assumed the other could feel his breath on his lips, even though he was shorter than him. For once, he felt so in control of the situation, and he noticed Benny’s eyes fluttering close. So, he pulled him down and kissed him in the empty apartment complex lobby.

It was softer than the other kisses they shared, because this time they were finally on the same page. Ethan kissed with a fierceness to show the love he harbored for the other. The love that could be harbored by 100 people, but it was all in Ethan for Benny. He pulled away and looked up at the other with a smile.

“That was better than the other ones,” Benny commented immediately before turning bright red.

“You’re right, it definitely was,” Ethan said as he started to take his hand away from the other’s face, but Benny grabbed it and kept it there.

“Don’t let go,” Benny whispered. “If you don’t let go, then it’s not a dream.”

“I’ll never let go of you, because after nine years; I’m still hopelessly in love with you,” Ethan told him as his thumb stroked the skin once more. “What if we drop the fake part of the fake boyfriends title?”

“Are you sure I’m not dreaming?” Benny asked, and Ethan giggled slightly at the question. “Let’s drop it, please.”

“Okay, so you’re my boyfriend.”

Benny broke out in a wide smile before leaning down to kiss Ethan again and again and again. It felt so natural between them, like they had been living in the story line Ethan envied. When they got back to their apartment, Rory was there and talking to the girls, who looked over at the new couple with grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I hope you enjoyed! I'm sorry that it's kind of rushed.


End file.
